For me there are two areas in my life that have the scariest unknowns, starting my own business and dating. While I have been pretty successful in first, the later has been slowly but surely coming along. I can’t help but think how they are both related and learning how to be successful in one can definitely help you make the other less unknown.
Think about it. In business and in dating, if you want something you have to ask for it. No one is a mind reader. If you want to be successful you are going to have to try and fail NUMEROUS times, but once something or someone sticks it almost feels natural. You have expectations and visions of the future, but the only way you are going to achieve them is if you put yourself out there and go for it.
The last time I dated it was 2004 and so many things, including myself, have changed a lot since then. Thankfully I have some amazing women in my life who were ready to educate me on the world of App dating, you know swipe right or left? Now if the 2004 version of me had access to this technology I would’ve been an anxious mess. Worried if my pictures were good enough, if I said the right thing on my profile, wondering what I did wrong, if I did not match with anyone, etc. But this time I was excited to get out there, because for the first time, thanks to a ton of personal development, I knew who I was. If they didn’t like me then we weren't meant to be with each other, simple as that.
This is the same confidence I put forward in my business every day. I try new ideas, they don't work, I try again. It's not because they are wrong or I am stupid but because it just wasn’t meant to work so what from that experience did I like and what do I want to change? With men, I’ve been finding out more of what I am looking for and A LOT more of what I’m not. But I'm staying open, because if I stay safe nothing will ever happen and I want it all to happen because if it doesn’t I'm not learning and growing. For the first time in a year in a half a relationship has lasted beyond 2 dates and the 3rd is on the schedule. Does this mean a happily ever after? Who the hell knows? But I’m enjoying it and being present for every minute of it. That is the same in business, you need to know who you are, enjoy where you are, and don’t get lost in the big picture.
Yes, there is heartache in both. There is the fear of failure, the fear of success, and numerous other unknowns that you can definitely use as excuses to stay where you are and judge those that are doing more, or you can say “Fuck it!” and try again. You have to keep trying, but don’t lose yourself in the process. It's so easy to get wrapped up in building something, where you feel you are being super focused when really you are isolating yourself and burning yourself out. You can’t give to anyone or anything if you don't take care of yourself first. No one can complete you, only you can.
Business and dating are a partnership, an equal partnership, like anything else. You have to give and take, learn and compromise, listen and follow through. It may not always be sunshine and roses all day every day, but every day you will feel happy, fulfilled, and whole. This is a process, one that is going to take time and neither will truly work until you know who you are (if you need help getting started, check out last week's blog post).
Whether you are starting your own business, in the dating world, or both, know it's worth every high and every low. Learn, apply, try again, because you deserve EVERYTHING you truly want and set out to get.